Privacy greenhouse

A woman sits in a deckchair in a greenhouse reading a long paper scroll of terms and conditions that unspools past her feet, a tabby cat wearing an identity badge asleep on her lap. She is perfectly calm and entirely surrounded: figures in hard hats abseil down the glass on ropes, a drone hovers above her, three men press an enormous magnifying glass to the pane on her left, and the panes on her right are papered over with yellow notes giving her birthday, her mother's maiden name, her first pet, her holiday photos. A robed clerk in a judge's wig presides at a desk marked WITNESS STATEMENT, crates of filed paperwork cover the floor, and the way out is signposted EXIT, SUBJECT TO CONSENT.

Imagine your personal data is a rare orchid in a vast, overgrown botanical garden. Corporate poachers, government landscapers, and algorithmic weeds all want to catalog, clone, or crush your fragile blooms.

Knowing the garden

What grows against you, and where your own plot sits among it.

Tending

A playbook branches with your judgement, a runbook runs the same way every time.

The potting shed

Games to play, the workings under the glass, and a shelf worth returning to.

Last reviewed: 2026-07-08.